While Zachary isn’t going to turn four until November, I’m already planning things to do for his birthday. I really like this set of questions to ask your little one each year. I wish I had started when Zachary turned three, but I know his answers will be a lot more fun at four since he is so much more interactive now.

• What is your favorite color?
• What is your favorite toy?
• What is your favorite fruit?
• What is your favorite TV show?
• What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch?
• What is your favorite thing to wear?
• What is your favorite game?
• What is your favorite snack?
• What is your favorite animal?
• What is your favorite song?
• What is your favorite book?
• Who is your best friend?
• What is your favorite cereal?
• What is your favorite thing to do outside?
• What is your favorite drink?
• What is your favorite holiday?
• What do you like to take to bed with you at night?
• What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?
• What do you want for dinner on your birthday?
• What do you want to be when you grow up?

I can’t wait to see what his answers will be!

Have you tried this activity with your child for their birthday? Are there any other questions you asked (or would ask)?

How would you feel if someone posted a negative and embarrassing video, photo, or story about you? I know how I would feel — sad, shocked, and helpless. What if that person was a relative? I would be even more upset. What if it was your PARENT? I would feel all of those things including betrayed that a parent could think that embarrassing me publicly is even acceptable. I am thankful I grew up with caring parents who never diminished my feelings growing up.

Today I came across the post of a Facebook friend who posted a video of her son having a terrible temper tantrum. I was shocked when I saw the title of the video, and after watching about a minute of the little boy screaming and crying hysterically (while the mom laughed behind the video camera) I had to turn it off. It was too upsetting. I couldn’t help myself from leaving a comment disagreeing with the other commenters who apparently thought the whole thing was hilarious!

It made me sad to see people laughing about the little boy feeling upset and frustrated. Emotions are a huge part of who we are and making fun of someone’s feelings is NEVER acceptable, especially if it’s a child.

Next time you want to post an embarrassing story or picture about your child, think about how you would feel if you were in your child’s place.

It’s not funny. It’s not okay. It’s not acceptable. It is NOT tolerable. It is lowlife, trashy, and disgusting behavior, and a violation of your child’s privacy and emotions. Sorry if you disagree, but I would never post anything about my son that would make him question his trust in his mother.

This blog is a negativity-free zone. Sure, our kids all make us crazy at times. It’s normal and part of being a parent. Being a parent also means respecting and protecting your child’s feelings and NOT airing your dirty laundry with the Internet.

This video came from a great website that we just found, called Childcare Land, which has tons of interesting and fun activities appropriate for preschoolers and kindergarteners!

If you’re a CARS fan, you’ll want to check out this great free event happening next week at the Miami Childrens Museum on May 18th and 19th – as part of a special “Agents on a Mission” multi-city tour, Lighning McQueen, his best friend Mater, and the very savvy British spy Finn McMissile are coming here to Miami!

Take part in a variety of “CARS 2″ themed activities and fun, including a video kiosk, e-photo opportunities, games, giveaways, and more! It all happens from 12-6pm at the Museum, located at 980 MacArthur Causeway, Miami, FL 33132.

CARS 2 hits theaters in 3D on June 24th! Click here to check out the movie trailers online!

This is a fantastic video and sums up my beliefs to a T. Get vaccinated. Get your kids vaccinated. Don’t put your child or other children at risk.

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Fast, Easy Snacks

Do your kids love snacks? Mine do. Sometimes I think that if I let them, they would skip all meals and just snack from dawn till dusk (don’t worry – I don’t let them!). Since my kids are such snack-devotees, I actually spend a lot of time thinking of how I can let them have a snack without having it be total junk food. I mean junk food is fine as a once-in-a- while thing but I would rather they associate snacking with fresh and healthy options … I think it’s better for their eating habits in the long run.

These are a few of my tried and true ideas for snacking, which fill my kids up and keep them satisfied. Enjoy! And visit me at Sarah’s Cucina Bella for family-friendly recipes for every meal of the day.

- Sarah Caron

Popcorn: Did you know that popcorn is a whole grain? So, this is a snack you can really feel good about, even with the sweet addition of a little chocolate. Your best bet with this is to use a popcorn popper, but if you don’t have one, you can purchase plain (as in no flavorings) microwave popcorn and use that instead.

Chocolate Popcorn
serves 4-6

6 cups popped popcorn (it should be just popped and still very hot)
2 tbsp hot chocolate mix (the better the mix, the better the popcorn — make sure its sweetened)

Combine ingredients in a large resealable bag. Shake vigorously. Pour into a bowl and devour.

Cheese and Fruit Plates: Are your kids little cheese hounds? Mine are! And this is a great way to get them to have a little extra calcium and vitamins (from the fruit, of course). Arrange sliced fruit, a few pieces of cheese and some crackers on a plate and let the children eat it as they wish … maybe they want to top a whole grain cracker with a slice of cheddar and a bit of strawberry? Anything goes!

Fruit and Dip: I don’t know about your kids, but mine absolutely love dipping things. Whether it’s grilled chicken in barbecue sauce or fruit in a creamy dip like this one, it’s a surefire way to get them to munch happily. Firm fruit like pears or apples work well with this, as do strawberries, grapes and blueberries. Avoid too-soft fruit like bananas though which won’t stand up as well to dipping.

Easy Creamy Fruit Dip
yields ½ cup
¼ cup reduced fat cream cheese, at room temperature
¼ cup marshmallow fluff
¼ tsp cinnamon

Combine the cream cheese, fluff and cinnamon in a bowl and stir until smooth. Serve with fresh fruit for dipping.

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A balancing act

As we DMed back and forth about this guest post, Karen suggested I write about balancing work and motherhood. I literally laughed out loud. A little crazily actually, so I was glad she couldn’t hear it because she would have been frightened. HA!! I was frightened, and I’m with myself every day!! (Ho ho ho – I’m hilarious, right?)

I agreed to though because I think this is a subject that plagues most of us. How do we find balance between our personal lives and our work lives? Especially when our personal lives include caring for loved ones?

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That was the magic answer. Did you like it? Ha!!

Okay, fine. There is no magic answer. :( We each have to plod along, trying different things until we find the system that works for us. The key is to keep trying different things, while keeping your goals in mind. Oh, you don’t have goals? Hmm. That will be a problem. Seriously. You’ve got to write down (I mean it, don’t just think of some great ones, write them down) and put them somewhere where you’ll actually look at them again. On your wall, bathroom mirror, journal, whatever. It’s important that they are visible to you. It actually makes a difference. Not only because you’ll have them in mind that way (without carrying them in your mind, as it were), but also because you can adjust them as you need to. There are all kinds of great exercises for goal writing. Start as simply as you like.

I’ve been called a dreamer, an idealist, unrealistic and sometimes even foolishly optimistic. It’s alright though, I just don’t see why I can’t have my cake and eat it too. I can’t help believing that all things are possible. So here I sit, writing this surrounded by boxes of our belongings. We’ve been packing for what seems like forever and in a few short hours we’ll be moving to our new home. Once we get there, surrounded once more by boxes of our belongings, I’ll be rereading this and then sending it off to Karen.

My business was born a few short months before my son was conceived. From the start of my pregnancy, it insisted that I take it into account. I was horribly nauseous and vomiting at all hours of the day and night. For months. Calling it morning sickness would be making a molehill out of a mountain. It was ridiculously serious.

And yet… I had sessions already booked and didn’t want to cancel them. So I called up my clients and told them about it. Asked if they minded my bringing some snacks, a ginger ale and a be-ribboned bucket to the session. Luckily for me, they were all incredibly gracious and sympathetic (and amused I think). So. I did my sessions. Slowly, with lots of breaks (seconds long people) to take a deep breath until the nausea or lightheadedness passed and then we pressed on. And we got delightful images!

All this to say that I never got a chance to think of myself as either a mother or a photographer… so it’s never been a question of trying to decide which was most important to me. I love my son in more ways than I can describe and with more depth than seems possible. And I also love creating and capturing connections. Like Avedon said, “If a day goes by without me doing something related to photography, it’s though I’ve neglected something essential to my existence.”

I am a mother and a photographer, all the time. I knew from almost the very start of my business that I would have to fit my business around my child, which is what I wanted. I love that being my own boss means I can choose where to be (at home) and with whom (my child). As my son gets older, I find that while he can entertain himself better, he also needs more of my attention in concentrated bouts. So, I work on my business during naps and after bedtime. Sometimes I can do more while he’s awake. We go location scouting together, and I test all my gear on him. Daily. We often go to client meetings together- they all know about him from reading my blog and talking to me. When I’m shooting a wedding, or need to attend a meeting without him, my husband watches him (he also works for himself). I shot portrait sessions with him in a carrier or stroller when he was younger and he often slept right through them. If I was shooting a family, he would play with the kids after. If I was shooting a maternity session, the mama-to-be got all misty eyed about what she was about to be gifted with as she watched my little one beam and gurgle. As he got older and wanted to run around more, I’d enlist help from a friend who would come with me to the session and play with the baby while I worked and then we’d all (clients too!!) play together afterwards.

Ajira's little guy, Chésaweh (isn't he cute?!)

It is important to me that my son is with me as much of the time as possible. Especially during these most formative years. It is important to me that I get to watch, support, delight in and respond to him. I just want to be with him and see him grow up. I love that my work is not only a balm to my soul but also allows me to be with this wondrous little boy who is so much like his father and I and yet so much more himself. That I get to be with him everyday, that I get to model to him a life spent pursuing a passion, that I get to show him a life lived in love is beyond anything I could have dreamed of or wished for as a child. I am astoundingly blessed.

This is not to say that I do not struggle. Remember the ‘ha!’ at the start of this post? Yeah, that was about the struggle. Sometimes Chésaweh’s teething coincides with moving, writing a guest post, sending clients’ their images and editing sessions. And somehow it’s all got to get done. I do as much as I can for as long as I can and then rest. My goal is to do each thing with all of my energy until it’s done. And then on to the next thing. I aim to minimise regret as much as possible. I don’t have time to waste wishing I’d done things differently- and I know what I’m talking about here because I’ve done it. Oy! I try to remind myself that I’m here now, and this is where I can work from.

There are certainly nights where I am beside myself because I’m trying to get something done for a client but Chésaweh needs me or where I’m playing with him at the park and trying to plan out my schedule in my head. It’s something that is a work in progress with me. Given that both are changing constantly, a certain planning while being prepared for whatever comes is required. While it is sometimes stressful, I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

Being with my son and my camera makes me happy.

What about you?

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A few of Ajira’s beautiful images:

Put a red M&M and an extra-strength Tylenol side by side. Sure, YOU can tell them apart. You’re an adult. But your toddler? I’m betting your toddler would reach for the Tylenol just as frequently as he or she reaches for the M&M. Lots of pills have “sweet” coatings on them too, because people are lame-o and can’t just suck it up and swallow a pill the old fashioned way.

I’m sure you know as well as I do that kids are crafty, too. I clearly remember climbing up on to the bathroom counter when I was about 6 years old, finding a pill bottle in the medicine cabine, and figuring out how to open a “child safe” container — I guess I was just curious — but thankfully my mother taught me about medicine very early on, and that it’s only to be taken when given by a parent. I’ve seen so many pictures on the internet of kids even smaller — three, four, five years old — climbing up on kitchen or bathroom counters. Can you imagine a child opening a pill bottle and thinking it looks like candy because they are used to eating food like M&Ms? The idea of that is very, very scary – if a child were to eat a bottle of Tylenol, the results would be devastating.

Giving your toddler small, round candies is very dangerous. I definitely will not be giving them to Zachary until he’s at least 5 years old and able to understand the difference between candy and medicine.

Edited to add ~ here are a few links which describe how dangerous the “is it candy or medicine?” issue is when dealing with toddlers: Candy or Medicine (Parents Magazine) / Medicine Cabinet Candy / Candy or Medicine Poster / 7 Drugs that can Kill Kids in a Single Pill

Just in case you don’t have the time to read all of the articles listed above, one of them (I believe the last one) discusses that many toddlers/babies ingest pills found in hotel rooms while families are on vacation and are brought to the hospital without even knowing what they’ve swallowed. Please be careful when you travel with your kids this summer and if you stay in a hotel with your young child, do a full sweep of the room/floor before allowing your baby to crawl around — and try to have at least one adult keep an eye on him/her at all times!

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Soon the baby learns how to roll over and discovers that he actually enjoys being on his tummy! After a while he figures out how to scoot or crawl. Being on his tummy is now his preferred state, and his reaction to being placed on his back is now very much like his reaction as an infant to… tummy time. *sigh*

This is where I am with my little dude right now. He is not a fan of being on his back. I know this is common. But boy is it annoying – and tough when doing diaper changes and clothing changes. I look forward to the day when I no longer have to use the changing table – or when my little one decides he doesn’t mind being placed on his back! Of course.. by then I’ll probably have another little one fussing about the very same thing. :)